[ he laughs again! --still weakly, but with more life in it. and then he reaches up... and lays his hand on leon's head, with one furry ear between his thumb and forefinger... and rubs a little. the way kitty likes it.
man... that really does feel so nice.
he sighs after a moment. (he doesn't stop petting though.) ]
I don't know if you want to hear this. It's okay if you don't. I'm not really sure how much I want to talk about it... I mean, like, you always hear "oh it's so important to process your emotions and get things out in the open et cetera et cetera," but honestly, has it ever been proven that people feel better when they do that? Instead of just keeping it to themselves?...
[ ... darn, those rubs actually make him want to doze while making weird rumbling noises in his throat and chest. but he perks up, albeit somewhat awkwardly by sitting up in his chair and swallowing down his nerves. he's been doing that quite often recently but sometimes one just needs to remember where he is...
also super glad he didn't meow. or nya. but his tail is limp and droopy, mirroring how relaxed he is. ]
You should tell me how much you want and what you want, no matter the subject or time or place. You know my ears are always here for you, and my doors are always open...
[ they twitch as he opens one eye lazily, peering at Jamie. ]
... but it is important to talk about things, as long as you're comfortable to do so. That, or pet your cat.
[ he sighs. again. but he's still petting. in fact, he'll move a bit closer so he can lean against Leon a bit while he does so. (This is totally normal and appropriate) ]
...since this last December, I haven't been able to get in touch with my family. Calls or e-mails or really anything. And it was lonely and horrible, and with everything going on here in the city, I got so scared that my memories of them were fake somehow, or that we'd be cut off forever... and, you know, at the very least I felt guilty and awful knowing how worried and upset they must be. And someone else on the app told me something like that had happened before, where they couldn't get in touch with people, and when contact was restored the people outside didn't think anything was strange at all. Like, they hadn't noticed anything was wrong, even though logically they should have. So that made me feel better, but also kind of worse? Because, you know. It's not like I want them to be sad and worried, but... it sort of feels bad, the idea that I could just be gone and it wouldn't matter and no one would care...
[ it's the most normal and appropriate thing Jamie's ever done. besides, he's not really paying attention to that: he's listening, with those feline ears, to every word. ]
Your family cares, I'm sure of it. Odd things have been occurring here, and we don't know every exact detail to how it affects the world outside of the one we find ourselves in now. But in the end, your memories of them aren't fake. They may be different or separate of a life that we may have lived prior to being here, but... they aren't fake. You are still part of their life, after all.
[ he sighs gently, his right ear flicking. ]
And if you were gone, I would care. I would miss you. I am sure I am not the only one. The Jamie I know is very important to me. I am sure your loved ones feel the same way.
[ the fact is, Jamie already knew that Leon would care, and would miss him--after all, if he hadn't known that, there's no way he would have texted Leon in the first place, much less come here and tell him all this.
but it's still really nice to hear it. ]
Well... That's the thing. Earlier tonight, my mom called me. And she'd definitely noticed. And she was so mad... I mean, we were both just really surprised at first, obviously, because it finally worked after so long, and I guess we were both crying, and she was yelling, and then she put my grandmother on the phone, and she was crying and yelling... and I was trying to explain, but obviously it didn't make any sense... and then she said I had to come home right now, and something about plane tickets, and then there was some kind of weird static, and the call dropped. And when I tried calling back it was just the weird static. So now I guess it's back to not working? And I was so happy to hear their voices again, and to know they're still out there and haven't forgotten, but it was... just kind of awful, and now I know they are upset and worried, and there's nothing I can do, and it's just... awful!
also, he's happy he can at least reinforce those feelings. ]
Then I am glad that you had a chance to talk to your family, albeit briefly, and that they are just as worried for you as you are for them. You are fortunate to have someone on the outside to contact when it is possible.
[ he does his best to give Jamie a one-armed hug. ]
When things settle down, I am sure contact will be easier. We just have to do our best to assist those who have direct control of the situation... or, at least, not get in their way.
[ but even he's not convinced with that course of action, as he bites his lower lip in thought. ]
[ what happens, to a sleek leather catsuit, if someone weeps on it ]
I know you're right. And there isn't anything I can do right now, and that's... just how things are. But I can't imagine. It must be so terrible. Because at least we know all about Retrospec, and we can see the way things change, and... everything, but... for people on the outside... to think that for so many months, I just haven't... and they... I mean, can you even imagine??
[ he pauses for a nose blow ]
But I do know, I know I'm fortunate. And I'm so glad... I mean, that's why I couldn't talk to Minato about it... That's why I thought maybe I shouldn't tell you. Should I not have? I don't want to make you sad. Did I make you sad?
I can't, nor do I have someone I can directly talk to out there.
[ a sad smile, but one born from simply acknowledging the facts: he has no living family. it's fine though, as he grabs another tissue to replace the one Jamie's using when he's ready to take it. ]
No. I may not always have the right answer, but I do have better ears than most. [ wiggle wiggle. ] And you will not make me sad--- the sad thing would be if you did not feel that I could be a reliable listener for your troubles.
[ he might've just needed someone to tell him that. and maybe it needed to be Leon, in particular... or at least, it's better because it was Leon. (since he trusts Leon implicitly, and can't think of anyone he knows whose shit is more together, and that kind of thing.)
also, no one's ears are softer than Leon's. ]
Thank you. I hope you'll get to meet them someday. My family. I mean, you know, if you want to. I know they'd really like you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
man...
that really does feel so nice.
he sighs after a moment. (he doesn't stop petting though.) ]
I don't know if you want to hear this.
It's okay if you don't.
I'm not really sure how much I want to talk about it...
I mean, like, you always hear "oh it's so important to process your emotions and get things out in the open et cetera et cetera," but honestly, has it ever been proven that people feel better when they do that? Instead of just keeping it to themselves?...
no subject
also super glad he didn't meow. or nya. but his tail is limp and droopy, mirroring how relaxed he is. ]
You should tell me how much you want and what you want, no matter the subject or time or place. You know my ears are always here for you, and my doors are always open...
[ they twitch as he opens one eye lazily, peering at Jamie. ]
... but it is important to talk about things, as long as you're comfortable to do so. That, or pet your cat.
[ BUT WHICH ONE DOES HE MEAN ]
no subject
...since this last December, I haven't been able to get in touch with my family. Calls or e-mails or really anything. And it was lonely and horrible, and with everything going on here in the city, I got so scared that my memories of them were fake somehow, or that we'd be cut off forever... and, you know, at the very least I felt guilty and awful knowing how worried and upset they must be.
And someone else on the app told me something like that had happened before, where they couldn't get in touch with people, and when contact was restored the people outside didn't think anything was strange at all. Like, they hadn't noticed anything was wrong, even though logically they should have. So that made me feel better, but also kind of worse? Because, you know. It's not like I want them to be sad and worried, but... it sort of feels bad, the idea that I could just be gone and it wouldn't matter and no one would care...
...Ahh, now I'm just rambling...
no subject
Your family cares, I'm sure of it. Odd things have been occurring here, and we don't know every exact detail to how it affects the world outside of the one we find ourselves in now. But in the end, your memories of them aren't fake. They may be different or separate of a life that we may have lived prior to being here, but... they aren't fake. You are still part of their life, after all.
[ he sighs gently, his right ear flicking. ]
And if you were gone, I would care. I would miss you. I am sure I am not the only one. The Jamie I know is very important to me. I am sure your loved ones feel the same way.
no subject
but it's still really nice to hear it. ]
Well...
That's the thing. Earlier tonight, my mom called me.
And she'd definitely noticed. And she was so mad...
I mean, we were both just really surprised at first, obviously, because it finally worked after so long, and I guess we were both crying, and she was yelling, and then she put my grandmother on the phone, and she was crying and yelling... and I was trying to explain, but obviously it didn't make any sense... and then she said I had to come home right now, and something about plane tickets, and then there was some kind of weird static, and the call dropped. And when I tried calling back it was just the weird static. So now I guess it's back to not working? And I was so happy to hear their voices again, and to know they're still out there and haven't forgotten, but it was... just kind of awful, and now I know they are upset and worried, and there's nothing I can do, and it's just... awful!
[ and he's crying again lol ]
no subject
also, he's happy he can at least reinforce those feelings. ]
Then I am glad that you had a chance to talk to your family, albeit briefly, and that they are just as worried for you as you are for them. You are fortunate to have someone on the outside to contact when it is possible.
[ he does his best to give Jamie a one-armed hug. ]
When things settle down, I am sure contact will be easier. We just have to do our best to assist those who have direct control of the situation... or, at least, not get in their way.
[ but even he's not convinced with that course of action, as he bites his lower lip in thought. ]
no subject
I know you're right. And there isn't anything I can do right now, and that's... just how things are. But I can't imagine. It must be so terrible. Because at least we know all about Retrospec, and we can see the way things change, and... everything, but... for people on the outside... to think that for so many months, I just haven't... and they... I mean, can you even imagine??
[ he pauses for a nose blow ]
But I do know, I know I'm fortunate. And I'm so glad...
I mean, that's why I couldn't talk to Minato about it... That's why I thought maybe I shouldn't tell you. Should I not have? I don't want to make you sad. Did I make you sad?
no subject
I can't, nor do I have someone I can directly talk to out there.
[ a sad smile, but one born from simply acknowledging the facts: he has no living family. it's fine though, as he grabs another tissue to replace the one Jamie's using when he's ready to take it. ]
No. I may not always have the right answer, but I do have better ears than most. [ wiggle wiggle. ] And you will not make me sad--- the sad thing would be if you did not feel that I could be a reliable listener for your troubles.
[ another pat, and then: ]
We will get through things together. I promise.
no subject
I think you're right.
[ he might've just needed someone to tell him that.
and maybe it needed to be Leon, in particular... or at least, it's better because it was Leon. (since he trusts Leon implicitly, and can't think of anyone he knows whose shit is more together, and that kind of thing.)
also, no one's ears are softer than Leon's. ]
Thank you.
I hope you'll get to meet them someday. My family.
I mean, you know, if you want to. I know they'd really like you.